Have you ever had the feeling that people around you are…just…not…present, or more than that, appear to be self centered? It shows up in ways that are usually annoying. For example, the people who stop in the middle of the grocery aisle and block the entire way, or the person who is texting and won’t go at the green light, or the person who stands too close to us in a line, or the person who cuts in front of us on I-405 because you are a safe driver and leave a gap.

I could go on and on…

I witness the lack of personal presence just about everywhere I go. I see it in how people treat one another, to how they drive, how they let the door slam in your face, to how they interact either with me or other people (or even animals).

It just seems to me that this lack of presence has become an epidemic.

But first let me identify what I mean by being personally present. Personal presence is about being consciously aware of yourself in time and space relative to everyone else near (or even far) in time and space…it means showing up for people in my life, whether I know them or not. Personal presence is being aware of myself in relation to other human beings…and I will go as far as saying to animals as well. (I am a dog lover, after all).

My hubby and I took a workshop many years ago from Jane Hundley who dove in to what it means to be personally present for yourself and others. What she taught me was to analyze the things that keep me from being present, such as the stories we tell ourselves, or the issues that stop us from showing up.

I talk about this regularly when I am teaching yoga. I remind my students to stop telling themselves a story during their practice, to remember to breathe, to focus their minds, and be present. I ask them to not only be present for themselves, but also be present for their yoga practice. When we are consciously present, we receive the powerful gifts that are here for us if we show up.

Everyone in the workshop went through a very long series of exercises that forced us to peel layers away of the thoughts that go on when we are challenged to understand more about who we are, and why we think certain ways about ourselves. Eventually every person in that workshop found what she called your BLT: Your Basic Limiting Thought.

I realized through this process that my BLT was that I did not matter. This BLT was triggered when I felt like I was not being listened to by other people. In order to arrive at one’s BLT, there was a lot of work on delving through the layers of stuff that produced that BLT.

Now having been armed with that information I was much more aware of my thought process around my BLT, and once aware, I could CHOOSE a different route of thought. In other words, instead of reacting to a person or situation with frustration or anger, I could choose to be presently aware of my thought process and instead realize that I no longer would have to react the same. I was more AWARE of my thought process, and I had many more choices open to me in how I could react.

Thus began the journey toward personal presence. Personal presence is the AWARENESS of THOUGHT(S), and being able to observe thoughts and NOT REACT. In essence, this is the ability to be aware of thought(s) and being able to give myself a choice in my reaction to whatever is present in front of me. I can choose frustration, anger, hatred, or fear. I can also choose detachment, kindness, compassion, or love.

My yoga teacher always talks about awareness of breath, which to me, really means awareness of thought. He is right in that I can choose to be aware of my breath as I practice, just I can be aware of thought as I live my life and interact with those around me.

Can you imagine a world where human beings are personally present? Where interacting with others is not an energy-drainer, but an act of kindness and goodness? I can because I have had many experiences like that. In my former position I had so many incredible conversations with so many beautiful and kind human beings because, why? I was personally present.

What choice will you make today?